Getting Started Again

Welcome!  I've been on a weight-loss journey for the past 3 1/2 years (3 1/2 years officially, a lot longer unofficially) and need a place to chat with others about my experiences.  Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and experiences.  I'm very interested in how people around me manage healthy lifestyles, what they struggle with and what their vicotries are.  I'm not sure how long I'll keep updating this blog (it might be like a well-intentioned New Year's Resolution!), but I'll enjoy it while it lasts!

Here's my story in a nutshell:

I've always struggled with weight.  As a teenager I was bigger than I wanted to be (who isn't at that age!).  Marching band helped me stay fit for the most part during middle and high school, though my large appetite would undo some of the good physical activity in the offseason. 

In college, I gained the famous freshman 15, then lost it the summer before my sophomore year.  I did that on my own- watched what I ate and did some cardio 4 to 5 times per week.  As I moved off campus and started driving rather than walking everywhere, the weight crept back on.  I also fell in love with a certain someone and discovered the magic of a person caring for me no matter what I looked like!  Believe it or not, that made me careless with what went in my mouth, too! 

The first year out of college saw me in my first year of teaching (teachers you know what a horrifying experience that can be!) AND planning my wedding (fun, but also stressful).  Although I LOVED my wedding and had the time of my life, I was self-conscious about how I looked.  I felt big.  I gained another 10 pounds that first year of marriage.

Throughout those last couple years, mom was very aware I was gaining weight.  She had just lost a large amount of weight for health reasons and was very concerned about me.  She knew the bad food habit ran in the family and wanted to help me before I continued the same road she did.  I usually took her advice and concern as criticism and disdain.  It hurt my feelings and I felt she couldn't see my heart for being distracted by my unattrative appearance.

I remember the exact day God got my attention and helped me do something about my problem.

Mom had just left after visiting in April 2007. I was in tears because we'd had another "weight discussion."  As much as my feelings were hurt and my heart was angry, I knew mom was right.  I told God I needed help and asked Him to send it to me.  A few days later, I researched Weight Watchers online and was enrolled as a member two weeks later.

I'm not ashamed to say my starting weight was 210.  At 5 foot 6 inches, Weight Watchers says a healthy weight for me is between 125 and 155.  So I set an original goal of 135 pounds, but I quickly realized my body wasn't going to cooperate with that, so I changed it to 145. 

The first year saw the weight shrink off almost immediately.  I was 4 pounds from my goal in June 2008, but then... I went on vacation to St. Louis and had ice-cream 2-3 times a day, 4 huge bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch before bedtime, etc.etc.  That started two years of being between 150 and 165.  I was continually backtracking.  I changed my goal weight to 145.

I got bored with exercising- I walked 2-3 miles on our road, then I did the Leslie Sansone exercise DVD's for a while, I did the YMCA for awhile, and then I just stopped altogether.

Meetings were a tremendous help for me because the accountability was vital. 

The last few months, I realized something else:  I've been trying to do all this weight loss stuff on my own.  Jesus Christ has always been at the center of everything I do.  He's the one who led me to do something about my unhealthy lifestyle in the first place, so why wasn't I including Him in the rest of the journey?  I started talking to God more regularly about my weight loss and I memorized Scripture to help fight cravings, etc.

Now here I am.  Even with all I've learned from Weight Watchers, all the support I get from Daniel, and letting God into my journey, I was SO CLOSE to ending my Weight Watchers membership.  Only my stubborness kept me in- I didn't want to say I'd "quit."

So.. I weighed in again today at 167.4 pounds and changd my goal weight to 155.  When I was at 155 before, I felt perfectly satisfied with my body and was completely healthy.  The only reason I kept trying to lose was because I wanted to be at that elusive "number" of 145.  If I decide to try for 145 down the road, it will always be there. 

I wanted to start this blog as a way to talk about my challenges and victories as much as I want.  I want to hear what you guys are going through, too.  I want to connect with local people, which I prefer to the Weight Watchers etools, where you talk with people you don't know at all.

And in the spirit of being completely transparent- I spent the time looking through my updated Weight Watchers materials with an Oreo Blizzard in my hands.  It was delicious!  :)  Should I have eaten it? That depends.  I did track it in my weekly "cheat" points, so at least it's accounted for.

I have two goals for this week:

1) When I want a snack, reach for a fruit or vege (they're 0 points on Weight Watchers' new system and many of them are quite tasty)

2)  Exercise for 30 minutes at least twice before next Monday.  Exercising twice is a good solid goal when you haven't been doing anything at all!

That was a very big nutshell, wasn't it?  I tend to be longwinded, but writing helps me sort through my thoughts.  My following posts probably won't be as long...


Ok.  So what do you think?  What's your journey?